God's Pleasure

21 June 2010

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." 
Dr. Howard Thurman

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 
- Marianne Williamson – A Return to Love

It always comes unexpectedly.  The joy, the flourish of feeling alive and the desire and readiness to express myself.  It comes when listening to amazing instrumental music – a soaring French Horn concerto or a guitar piece with intricate finger picking - or when a song leaps into my heart and I just have to dance with Jesus.  It might be while watching End of the Spear or August Rush, or when I watch a figure skater pouring out his or her heart on the ice.  It comes as an unmistakable, unquenchable desire to express the glory of God – or what He’s doing – or who He is – through movement, dance, music, and art.  The joy, the expression of myself and of others, just puts me       in awe     of     HIM.

It’s at these moments that I remember.  I remember that God has made me this way for a reason.  And even though I don’t understand it, I have joy beyond explanation.  I’m alive and free.  And I wonder: why is this not a daily state of being for me?  What is God calling me to be doing that I’m ignoring (or too timid to follow) in the busyness of “supposed to”s along the way of life – whether in Kalamazoo, North Carolina, or Africa?

I’ve always been told by instrumental people in my life to do what I most love.  And I absolutely love teaching – most days!  I love helping kids to “get” math, reading, and especially Jesus... and I love learning tons along the way with them!  To come alongside people and help them in their own personal journey, to provide encouragement, hard things to think about, and abounding love to people God brings into my life is a gift I hope I never stop appreciating.  But sometimes I wonder what part this passion for art has in my story, in my journey.  It’s at these moments, when I’m struck by a passion too deep for words, in ways that can only be expressed through movement… it’s then that I wonder why I don’t do it more. 

I don’t have the answers.  But I’m praying that as God opens doors I’ll be willing to see them, to walk through them, and to see these times and chances for what they really are.  Chances to glorify the One who created me, so He can be glorified in me.  And chances to live freely in the way HE created me to be!

"I believe that God made me for a purpose.
But He also made me fast, and when I run, I feel His pleasure."
Eric Liddell, Chariots of Fire.

"Man's chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy Him forever."
The Westminster Shorter Catechism