Showing posts with label my favorite person. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my favorite person. Show all posts

Saturday, September 17, 2022

Ruining My Childhood Movies

My husband is ruining all my childhood favorite movies.

It’s not his fault, not really. It’s not even something he does, or says, the majority of the time. (And when he does say something, it's insightful and right on.) He actually quite enjoys most of my movies and willingly sits down to watch them with me. But, the fact is, my amazing husband is Korean. (Well, Korean, Canadian, American, with a hint of Singaporean and Swedish... but Korean by blood). And so, by his very existence sitting next to me, he has changed the lens through which I see the films.

Take Christmas movies. In high school I decided that I’d watch certain movies every year, and bought them to take with me to college. I had no idea how helpful this would be in maintaining a semblance of tradition when I moved to warm North Carolina for my first teaching job, then tropical Tanzania with no snow in sight, and hot season in full force. These movies were an escape to a normal, a sense of comfort, a piece of sanity when everything else was different. 

Caroling in East Africa, finding and making "snow," and pretending it was cold...

And each place I went, I realized something new. References to North Carolina in White Christmas when there’s no snow, for instance. Or listening to Kris sing "Sinterklaas kapoentje" in Dutch after having missionary kid students from the Netherlands celebrating these same traditions in front of me. The added perspective made them more dear to my heart and the season I watched them in.

But, take Miracle on 34th Street. The version worth watching, in black and white, from 1947. Do you recall that the only non-white person in the entire movie is the cook/house help in the main character’s apartment?

Or White Christmas. Singing, dancing, Bing Crosby Christmas classics galore. How can you go wrong? But sitting next to someone who didn’t grow up with it, I saw a war that impacted his family and birth country in very different ways than mine. Questions of why something was happening. And again, every single person in sight is white. Because apparently in this part of American history, no one but white people were present. In the war, at the railway station, at the inn… anywhere.

We still watch these movies every year, and have added many others. (Elf, anyone?!?) But as we sat down tonight to watch Anastasia for the first time in years (me) and for the first time ever (SM), we weren’t just struck by the oddity of seeing it set in Russia with the recent (and on-going) global events. My designer-husband’s only comments were about the amazing quality of the animation way back when it was made in '97. But again, here’s a movie I watched numerous times with friends in high school and got lost in the story, the music, the drama. And now, after having lived overseas and grown in understanding of cultures, I find myself unable to simply get lost again. My mind analyzes and sees the story through a new lens. A non-American, non-white, less-naive lens. (And one much more grounded in the Bible - my, this movie is dark!)

A lot of the movies we watch together have all (or mostly all) Caucasian characters, and we continue to watch them. In part, because they’re what we call classics, they offer a perspective of American culture, and we both enjoy them. Little Women. Pride and Prejudice. Singing in the Rain. (Interspersed between the Mandalorian, Star Wars, San Andreas, Arrival, Abominable, and plenty of other favorites, of course!) There’s not a lot of options, unfortunately, from those years to watch that include races besides Caucasians. (Well, except for the kung fu movies my husband loves… but while I don’t mind a good battle in a movie, I also really appreciate a good story line somewhere along the way, too! ;). Plus, my mostly-mono-lingual brain appreciates movies in English. With happy endings.*) But, just like my search for books that represent multiple skin tones and perspectives and ethnicities, I find myself removed from being fully immersed in the stories of what I’d call the classics I grew up with.

In some ways, it’s sad to lose that immersive quality. Movies for me are often an escape, a chance to dive into a story that’s not my own and experience life from a different point of view. But honestly, the reason I’ve lost this immersion is because I now know too much. I can’t say I understand what non-Caucasian individuals experience in America. But I sure do know what it feels like to be the odd white person in an all-black culture. I’ve watched the racism my in-laws endure in Canada, and have seen the looks we’ve gotten in Vancouver as an inter-racial couple. Nothing that I wouldn't expect, sadly, but there none-the-less. I prep myself and pray for our beautiful mixed-heritage kids and wonder what life will be like for them growing up. And I know without a doubt that I’m thankful for the ways the world is slowly (albeit oh so slowly) working towards embracing people of different nationalities and skin colors not just in real life, but also on the screen.

 

*Have you WATCHED any Korean movies? I swear they find the worst, most depressing option for an ending and say “yay! Let’s do it” I finish every Korean movie with a list of 3 possible alternate endings that would make everything work out happily for everyone. But apparently that’s not important. I, on the other hand, am still American enough to want everything to work out. Because, did I mention movies are an escape for me? Who wants to escape to a dystopian? There’s enough tragedy in the real world to cover that perspective - I want to know sometimes things actually work out in the end. In addition to Revelation, of course!

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Crossing Cultures

Who would have guessed that moving to Tanzania and back again was only the beginning of my international life?
In the Amsterdam airport, on my way to Kenya for the first time, in college, 2005
Chacos on my feet, camera in my backpack... I was off to capture the world (and learn a ton along the way!)
I never. Ever. EVER planned on or even conceived of meeting and marrying a Korean. Ever. Especially after living and teaching Kids from around the world in East Africa for four years! But God has a sense of timing, wisdom, and humour that I have yet to figure out.

And so, while I was once worried about coming back to the States and to no one who could understand my weird Christian world-perspective or grieve and rejoice with me about events around the world, I've found my life to be anything but. And while cross-cultural marriage has its challenges (much less than expected, to be honest, in the case of these two crazy world-travelers!!!), the perks of joining with another international for life, and of having an incredible multicultural community in part because of it, makes my life richer and more thankful. Who knew I would have the chance with my husband to touch and shine light in the lives of people from every continent* around the world without setting foot outside of good ol' Dutchland, West Michigan?

I get to tutor kids from overseas and whose parents are internationals. I think missionary and third culture kids are some of the coolest kids out there. We're surrounded by cross-cultural marriages in our church and at our dinner table. 

Who would have guessed our wedding party would have people representing every continent* without even realizing?

Our wedding 'guestmap' :)
And then there are the (completely regular) days when I sit at our dinner table as the only "American," among a Korean, a French man, and an Egyptian straight in from overseas. Or with a Korean, Bulgarian, a Nepelese man, and a Malaysian. 

Notice the continuing Korean theme? Yep, this guy's pretty much my favorite. :)

Picture taken by Samara, budding photographer, age 10.
I've tried more new foods since returning from the Land of Tanz than I did while there. I know what celebratory Chinese New Moon cakes taste like, what traditional red bean tteok treats look like for Korean thanksgiving, and that Bulgarians make the best cheesy bread and salad on the planet. I know that Malaysia knows how to make some seriously cute wall-hangings of monkeys for the upcoming Chinese New Year's "Year of the Monkey," that Koreans say "Kimchi!" instead of "Cheese!" when taking pictures, and that little girls from Bulgaria, Iran, Mexico, Uganda, and Australia all equally love to sing the "Let it go" song with the same exuberant gusto and sweeping elaborate gestures as their American counterparts.

There are the days when I connect with dear-to-my-heart missionary friends from the Land of Tanz and my heat aches for the people I got to serve with there. I still want my kids to grow up overseas, if even for a short time, and I wish the country we live in wasn't so bent on individualism that we'd get excited for a neighbor willing to trade ingredients and share household items when needed.

But I have no doubt that this is where I'm supposed to be. That God's crazy, out-of-this-world plans were established for me long long ago, and that they are better than I could ever have imagined. And so we set out on our knees with prayers for wisdom, grace for ourselves and each other, and a lot of thankfulness each day as we cross cultures in our home and beyond... and know that none of these opportunities, connections, or relationships would be possible without Him.


*(minus Antarctica, of course!)